This blog entry is entirely personal. If anyone bothers to read and decode, it’s fine with me.
As someone who needs structure in her life, though I’m not always pious in following one, I’ve come to remember that I have “pegs” to do. That’s my lighter way of saying that I have “responsibilities” and “accountability” and more.
These pegs vary, for no man is one-face creature. We play different roles based on the relationships we have. So now I must remind myself of what on earth I am here for. What I am listing below are in random, mostly based on memory.
1. Daniel. I shall keep the thoughts to myself. I have the right to remain silent.
2. Paul. I must, at all times, exercise diplomacy. I remember a friend describing me as sort of a diplomat, and I’m aware that I’ve been doing my best to be one even back in high school. There will always be an acceptable compromise where everyone has a common ground.
3. Jonathan. Besides the so-close similarity with this “best friend” of my favourite person in history, second best actually, I’m beginning to wonder, where is my “best friend” and who could this be? I’m not going to expect an actual best friend, but someone who could be playing a role similar to my second favourite person in history.
4. Esther. Yeah, gotta stay beautiful.
5. Abigail. There’s a lot of folly around, but I must do what needs to be done to keep someone from committing such.
Perhaps there will be more. I don’t know.
Having “pegs” is a way of seeing things in a better view. If I remember correctly, it’s similar to “projection” in Psychology.
My body needs a knockout day. Yes, a lazy day. It’s usually every Saturday morning, but I wasn’t able to have that yesterday.
I’m hoping for the situation to get better so I don’t have to do unnecessary but needed things. They’re unnecessary if things were in an ideal setting. But things are not so they’re needed.
May people, I included but with more depth, understand the gravity of things around me. There’s no point in sticking to what we’ve been used to. Each day, I’m trying to wonder and figuratively knock my head how to stretch my mind about things I’m not used to think and do. I’m not complaining because I know it can be done. But I am complaining when people don’t exert that effort, not for me but for the team.
I know I have my own ang-sarap-ihagis-sa-kangkungan-na-ugali but I’m trying to do what I can to make things work. When I’m not around, it may not be quite obvious. But come and see me and let’s work things out, I’ll do what I can to make it happen.
A lot of things are inside my head. But like what I said before, they’re not always sensible. The thing is, I have to learn how to properly think of various things at the right moment/s or day/s. I just have the tendency to be preoccupied with a particular thought or thing, which doesn’t always have to directly concern me. It’s just something that I care about.
But if I have to gauge myself, based on my own standards, I am still not at the peak. I guess it’s because I always increase my imagination, on what can be achieved, so the expectations and deliverables keep increasing. Good realization. I have to properly lay out the evaluation markers or tools, lest I’m going to cry for not meeting my personal expectations. This brings me back to “SMART” planning. I’ve got to do that. I have and must force myself to do and stick to that.
May this week be better. I’m thankful for the people around me who are always capable of inspiring me and making me smile and laugh. Unfortunately, there’s someone (or some?) too keen to leave. Such has been an inspiration to stretch my thoughts and imagination. Such has been a great help for improving what I’ve started. The honest evaluations I got from this person were really helpful. I hope I have also been helpful even in one point of our correspondence. (I’m thinking about Rizal and Blumentritt’s relationship so I’m using that word.)
I don’t know what’s going to happen this week. I don’t know who will stay and/or leave. I don’t know. Regardless, I have to exercise resilience and tenacity. Because there is hope. There will be a bright future.
I refuse to be subdued by anything inferior, be it attitude, situation, even people. If there is a perfect opportunity to be stubborn as donkey, it is now for such things. Indeed, I’ve got to be resilient and tenacious.
Football is love.
Besides the obvious, I love how Football pulls me out of work so I can deal with other things. It’s my excuse to leave early, I mean on time.
The Philippines had its first international friendly match this year and it was against Malaysia, which resulted to a scoreless draw. My friends and I watched the away game in Skinny Mike‘s at The Fort. Being with my Footy friends made me realized how work has been my preoccupation. I rarely contributed to our conversation, though I was listening, because my mind was still in the process of work-off transition. It was bothersome.
Thank goodness we had coffee at Starbucks. I had that Dolce something. Btw, my Footy friends who have just arrived from Cambodia also gave me a lip balm as pasalubong. Sweet ne.
The second friendly match the Philippines had was against Azerbaijan. There were only very few of us who went to Skinny Mikes last Wednesday. Understandable. The kick off was at 11PM. We lost conceding one goal at the 26′ from a corner kick, if I remember correctly. Albeit the loss, it was a decent one.